A few months ago I was having an especially hard time coping with the fact that I had something good going and suddenly that something good was over. I immediately raced over to a friend and explained to her the pain I was feeling. “Why are you so sad?” she said. “Actually, I am more disappointed because this thing was my lil’ bit of good.” “Your lil bit of what?” she asked. “My lil’ bit of good.” I repeated. I then went on to explain that because of my hectic life, I had carved out space for something that was only for me. This something good was reserved especially for me and it was simple and easy. It is no secret that I have a somewhat difficult life. A life more emotionally demanding than the average single parent. As the parent of an autistic pre-teen with severe hearing loss my day to day is challenging. At the time it was compounded by deadlines, papers and other academic pursuits. I was stretched very thin. But amid all the hustle and bustle, there was something special. This something good was reserved only for me, and suddenly it was gone. I couldn’t help but mourn the loss of that lil’ bit of good because it made my hectic life a bit more bearable. I was not in love, nor was I infatuated, but I was content and happy with that lil bit of good that made my days easier because I had that lil’ special thing to look forward to. That temporary thing was not anything sexual, just time well spent with someone special. When it was taken away I was devastated and overwhelmed once again with the idea that without that lil’ bit of good I would feel the pang of those long days. Ironically, I have been faced with the same loss of a different lil’ bit again. I can’t help but wonder that in my quest for the good life, will I ever find that thing that is a lot of good?
However, I remain slightly optimistic that if I stay spiritually grounded a lot of good will come my way. I continue to believe that soon, I will have a large portion of good rather than a lil’ bit because God normally delivers large portions.
Finally Brothers, whatsoever is true, whatsoever is noble, whatsoever is right, whatsoever is pure, whatsoever is lovely, whatsoever is admirable-if anything is excellent and praiseworthy-think about such things. Whatsoever you have seen or heard in me put into practice. And the God of piece will be with you. Philipians 4:8-10 (NIV)