I always misunderstood the phrase good family. Most people use the phrase when discussing someone’s choice in dating. The term good family then serves as a part of a rubric to follow. My mother would often say, “Make sure he comes from a good family.” I thought she meant that when dating someone new, I should make sure that he came from a family that was financially stable. As an adult I now understand that my mother meant something totally different. She meant that when a person comes from a good family then they have a built in schema for what a positive family interaction looks like. Every family has their own set of issues and lacks stability in some areas (whether it is mental or emotional). However, there are two common attributes that are present in what I notice in the good families that I interact with, including my own. In most good families there are important traditions that are specific to that one family. Those traditions make up the basic structure of the family and provide them with most of memories that will serve as a road map for their ongoing relationships. Second, there is good old fashion love. Though the dynamics within each family structure varies, those are two key elements that help to make a good family. There are difficult circumstances that occur in all families since no family is free from their fair share of drama and pain. However, a good family knows how to combat those issues with love while continuing to practice those traditions that are unique to their family. Good Love+ Good Traditions= One Good Family.
You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them. ~Desmond Tutu